Hey Dude, F-You

 Hey dude

You talked to me as if I’m a child

Hey dude, wake up, I’m smarter than you by a mile


Why don’t you take a bath more than once in a week?

Hey dude, hate to say it, but you really do reek


I hated how you explained every boring detail of your day

Hey dude, stop talking unless you have something worthy to say 


Why can’t you clean up? Just lift one single  finger

Hey dude, I’m not your mommy or some hired house cleaner 


Why do you brag about every thing? 

Hey dude, guess what? Your guitar sucks, and you really can’t sing 


You’re medium cute, but those eyes were amazing

But dude, those eyes lie with hellfires a blazing


This may be petty, but your feet smell like dead cow

Hey dude, I’m just saying how hot are you now?


Why do you think you’re better than bread sliced?

Hey dude, I slice my own bread, with all I sacrificed 


You fart in your sleep, and man, do you snore

Hey dude, I guess you’re somebody else’s problem,

And not mine anymore


You talk over me and laugh so fucking loud

Hey dude, you ain’t  perfect 

So why are you so proud? 


Your jokes aren’t funny, you ask, don’t you get it?

Hey dude, I got it the first time, and it was pathetic 


A grown man playing video games twenty four seven?

Hey dude, get a life, you’re no longer eleven 


You stare at your phone and don’t notice a thing 

Hey dude, no girl wants to feel completely unseen 


You say you moved on now? Got a new chick?

Hey dude, did that take you two weeks? Go suck a dick


You may look like Jesus

But you definitely ain’t him

Hey dude, walk on water! Or maybe just swim 


Swim far away and get swept out to sea

Hey dude, where’s your life vest? Because it certainly ain’t me


The list can go on about how much I detest

Hey dude, love is blind but I got an eye test 


I got me some glasses

So now I see you

Hey dude, my eyes are open now, and I’m glad that we’re through 


Someone else can have those stars in their eyes

Hey dude, enjoy the new audience to practice your lies 


She ain’t me, and you aren’t who you proclaim to be

Hey dude, I wonder how long till she wants to be free? 


Maybe you’ll ask her to be your bride like you did  me?

Hey dude, get a divorce first and what’s with the fake bling? 


You asked me the question, but I bought my own ring

Hey dude, you’re the worst because you’ll say almost anything 


Just to get what you want, but you’re all talk

Hey dude, I dodged a bullet, but too bad my ring I can’t hock 


The diamond I have is as fake your love

Hey dude, you ain’t Gods gift, sent from heaven above


So why do you act like I should kiss your feet? 

Hey dude, remember they smell like decay in the street 


Like I was to you, when you tossed me out on my ass

Hey dude, you are heartless and have absolutely no class 


I was just a girl, vulnerable but wrong

Hey dude, no compassion? Eat a big dong! 


I guess we are over, ancient history, the past

Hey dude, I’ll get over your ass just as fast 


Hey dude, what’s your secret? How can I be like you? 

Oh yeah, I’ll be heartless and do what you do


Can you lift a finger? Because baby I can

Hey dude, middle finger so you can see who I am


I’m stronger and wiser and I will prevail

Hey dude, maybe this time I’ll put YOU in the garbage pail 


That’s where you belong, dumpster fire you are

Hey dude, I’ll find someone else who IS up to par


You know, I was stupid for trusting your ass

Hey dude, next time I see you, I’m just gonna pass 










 



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