I Lived

 I lived 

I didn’t fall apart all at once, It was a slow leak in my chest

Smiled through the warning signs

Told myself I’d get some rest

Every sound felt like a siren,Every thought cut like a knife

I was breathing but not living, Just surviving my own life

Strength  is something you can fake, with smiles in between

But when the floor gave out beneath me

I learned what breaking really means

I survived a mind on fire,

I survived the nights I shook

Survived the days I couldn’t speak, Or recognize the girl I took

Through hell and back in my own head, Where fear wore my name

I didn’t die when I broke down, I lived And that’s not the same

Trauma doesn’t knock, it moves in, and Rearranges all your rooms

Turns memories into landmines, Even daylight feels like doom

I lost time, I lost my balance, Lost the version I once knew

But somewhere in the wreckage, I still told myself: you’re still you

They don’t talk about the grief, Of losing who you used to be

Or how healing feels like mourning Someone you will never see

I survived a mind at war,

I survived the panicked screams

Survived the moment I believed I was busting at the seams

But here I am, still breathing deep

Still calling my own name

I didn’t die when I broke down, I lived And that’s what changed 

Breaking isn’t weakness

It’s when your mind has had enough

It’s the soul pulling the brakes, When the road gets way too rough

I learned to rest without the guilt, put problems on a shelf 

And that just staying alive, Is a victory in itself

I survived the darkest chapter, When my mind tried to give up

Survived the shaking mornings, When hope felt like too much

I carry scars I don’t explain

I carry strength I didn’t choose

I didn’t lose when I broke down. I lived, And I refused

To call that anything but brave

Not everyone survives the pain to see another day 

I’m not healed, I’m not perfect

But I’m here and I stayed